you left me your stardust

I loves YOU!
But you will never know.
Why?
I will never TELL you
thats why.

I'll hide it inside
with inkstained fingers
like a little girl's secret
locked in a diary
behind a false drawer,
and you will never find it
and it never mattered
because you never cared.

But I will giggle and
float around giddy headed.
Distraction is pleasant
a chocolatey taste melting on my tongue.
No no, my love. Don't you get it?
I want nothing to do with you.

In this lonely moment,
I am happy.
Thank you for all you've done.

*

Inspired from here.

as long as you love me baybee

So there's a bunch of things on my brain. Here goes.

*

I'm having a totally insane conversation on gtalk.

Nabila: cant believe uve heard this song

Harshita: can't believe you have!

Nabila: i heard it when i was like... 9

Harshita: hahaha same here

it was one of the first 'english' songs i heard

Nabila: we both werent 9 at the same time dood

Harshita: so you heard it a year later :P

or earlier

Nabila: I was 9 in .... 1998 i think

Harshita: or

um

are you 1989 born?! can't be. cuz AIYYAM 1989 born

Nabila: 1988!

eightyeighteightyeight

Harshita: so you would be TEN in 1998

Nabila: i would have my first birthday in 1989

so my ninth in 1998

right?

Harshita: noooooooooooo

count on your FINGERSSSSSSSS

Nabila: yesssss

OH

YEA

fingers say 10

:")

Harshita: BELEEEVE THE FINGERSS
Nabila: now i know why i studied politics

Incidentally, the song we're talking about is Calcutta (taxi, taxi, taxi) because Nab has a very very wonderful blog here

*

Today was a beautiful Delhi rainy day and I was very antisocial. I watched Before Sunrise and liked it vary much. It is pretty movie. It is in Vienna and has two people who are travelling with each other and look like it and use words like 'transitory' while talking about Seurat's paintings. Lyk, srsly. Since the movie is EXACTLY the kind I would LOVE - with real, imperfect, not all good looking characters, a beautiful city, art and music and poetry and brilliant neverending conversations about everything and nothing and palm reading and a night beneath the stars - in the sense I would TOTALLY want this to happen in my life, today I will hate it. Today I will hate the world and moviemakers who get it absolutely right. And movies because they aren't real. I will hate everything that wants to make everything wrong with the real world right.

*

Today I will hate the world. But tomorrow I will beg, grovel, and submit to it, because I can never have what I want. I can only have what the world can give. Tomorrow, I won't even think of it in these terms. Tomorrow I will be in denial and tell myself to embrace the world.

*

You threw up and fell
next to your pool of disgust;
and weren't even drunk.

Does that mean something?

*

I read a disgusting story. I think I'll write one, too.

*

Hello, pretty little bird. Bring sunshine with you the next time you come.